Tim Schiller

Re-Grow

Lots of us like to dream. It's almost cliche to talk about how kids are good at it, how they have these wild imaginations. But that as we age, somehow, we lose the art of it.

I agree. There is something so organic and pure in the dreams of a child. We could entertain ourselves for hours by exploring the depths and beauty of their dreams. We'd say things like free to fail, no walls, innocence. If you sat with a child and talked about dreams though, it wouldn't make sense to them.

A child doesn't dream, they don't imagine. It's not an attempt. They laugh and run and make jolly rancher igloos, cry when their friends cry, rescue princesses and slay dragons. They play in the NBA and make the worlds greatest works of art. Their little hands craft the worlds most articulate, meaningful, inspiring poetry. They speak Shakespeare. Shakespeare wrote children's books.

What moves a child? What or who engineers their thoughts? Each little choice, each grand idea, how does it come about? How come their hearts beat so differently?

There's no valley between thought and action in a child. As we grow up we get introduced to that divide. Our parents our friends our teachers our nation. Somehow we learn the difference in thought and action. We learn there is a difference. Our imaginary friends disappear and the top of the slide becomes the top of a slide, not Everest. We discover not everyone operates the same, that each person has different ideas guiding them. Until a certain point a child's does not. Slowly that divide grows and our dreams happen during nap time instead of play time.

Children can teach us a lot, but that's dumb. Let's not learn how to be children, children don't learn how to be themselves. Let's just be who we are and always have been, children.

Experience Equation Mockup

I like to think there are two kinds of mistakes. The things we regret doing, and the things we regret not doing. Not a new concept, but an important one.

Doing and not succeeding is not “mistake”, it is failure, but it is not mistake.

Here is the biggest difference between the two. The things I regret doing were mistakes but there is nothing I can do to fix them, I can only not repeat them. And then there are the things I regret not doing, here are some examples: not engaging in school to the extent I could have, not continuing hockey when I moved to florida, not pushing relationships to a certain depth, not giving every sprint I’ve ever ran every ounce of my energy, not ever trying to be good at preparing for things…etc. It goes on.

The purpose of the list is for a few concrete examples. And I’m sure in reading it similar examples came to mind.

Recognizing patterns and creating new patterns is an important aspect to growth. So here is what I think all this means.

Things go {A = A - B = C} Dreams = Dreams minus reality = Outcome. Obviously this equation is much more complex, but I’ve already spent an hour re-arranging letters and fractions in the way I think most closely represents the process of experience. The equation of experience.

I’ve always tried to change B. Reality, or B, always is the effort and attempt that goes into life. The freaking thing is though, the stupid minus sign. Humans are flawed so it will always be minus. No matter what. Our best effort is still less than A, no matter what. But for some reason I always try to make B = 0 so that A = C. I have this vague notion that if reality does not effect my dreams, dreams will become my outcome.

Naturally, when people realize B will always be less than A, they lower A in order for A and C, dreams and outcome, to be closely aligned. The thought process is “Since I can not do this well, I will expect less. Sure, my outcome will be less, but it will be closer to A.” EXCEPT, Exponential decrease, meaning when your dreams regress your reality regresses. This means you thought you were lowering C by only -A, but really you are lowering C by (-A + -B)

Lets start fresh {A = A - B = C} {Dream = Dream - Reality = Outcome}

We think we have most control over B. Why? I don’t know. We do have some control over it, but it will always be hindered by the minus sign. A, however, is not hindered by the minus, it is hindered by nothing! For some reason we think that since B always takes away from A, we don’t control A. But that is not true! Nothing stops us from dreaming bigger dreams, having bigger goals! If “exponential decrease” applies then so does “exponential increase.” When we dream bigger we reality bigger!

Let’s change A. I’m sick of always trying to change B and it never working. I am going to dream bigger. Change A.

Diving Boards

Here’s the word. I’m new to this. By this I mean tumblr, but I also mean other things. And by other things I mean, interesting enough, the web.

Let me explain

Lately, people have been all up in my grill asking “timmy, what you gonna study in college?” My response usually is something like “I’m pretty interested in design, specifically web design.” or “I want to be a developer.” or “I’d like to study entrepreneurship, then develop things, and probably design some stuff.”

I don’t have a clue. Really. I don’t even know what all the mush I just assembled into an incredibly vague reply means. The only thing I do know about it all..

I like it

Maybe because it is young, like me. Maybe it’s because there are a lot of people around me who are pretty nifty, and they like it too. Or maybe, just maybe, there’s really no reason at all. I just do.

To the point

I remember texting my brother Robb, near a year ago, my text resembled “I feel like I’m on a diving board at the top of the Design/Development/Entrepreneurship pool, I want to dive in head first.”

I had a layover in Pittsburgh, or Baltimore I think. Actually it may have been Beijing. It was one of the three. I had spent the day reading various Magazines on those topics, and I was gun loaded, off the mother loving wall, amped.

That was a year ago

And when it comes to the web. Web on this computer, Web on my iPhone, iPad. Whatever it may be. I’m still on that board, a year later. I could give you a few reasons why. But, like I remember my brother quoting, maybe even misquoting as I’m about to, “the reason for anything is complete BS.”

I would argue I know a bit more about code, design, and development than my grandma, a lot of my peers, and even my peers grandmas. But first off, who cares. And second off, I probably have a few “closet hacker” buddies that i don’t even realize can hack.

So yeah, my dry feet can still feel the slip resistant epoxy resin on top of that, dumb, dreaded, springy board of pooh. Home to the talkers and not the doers.

Thats the bottom line. THE END. But, in actual ending, CHEERS.

My knees have been bent by fates hand of opportunity, my arms are sticking behind me parallel to that dreaded board of idleness, and my calves are flexing, flexing harder then they ever have in preparation for, well..

blast off